The ending is nothing like you expect. Write to Done-Scene stealers

So, this is another one of my scene stealers , I had written for Write To Done.
And I got a very nice comment. So, hope you'll like this enough to comment too.

Here the setting is beach, and I've taken by favourite genre -urban fantasy too.
You can read the original in Write To done page; mine has a comment and a reply (both are gray ) and the username is Amala benny. Hope you check that out too, because the stories, which are a close to 50, that people come up with are amazing. Really !

So here is the story (the word limit is 350)

She settled herself in the shallow water and looked at him, waiting to be amazed.
He smiled leisurely at her.
“Quit stalling. And prove what you said was true” Arin said.
He didn’t say anything , just looked out into the sparkling ocean, it’s beauty ethereal under the night sky.
The water was enchanting that day, a sheet of sparkling blue just like their eyes. Actually, more like his. Hers was a mixture of blue and black.
Freak, her classmates called her.
“Mom will be home soon. I don’t want her finding me hanging around with a nutcase” she said.
“Do you want to have a swim” he asked.
She abruptly got up .
She loved the water almost as much as her mother hated it.
“No, I hate swimming and I am going home now” Arin said .
“Don’t lie to me Arin. You love swimming. Why else would you sneak away from your home every night” he stated plainly.
“Not every night” she sighed.
She loved swimming .But if her mother found out she was out swimming despite her many warnings and punishments, there would be hell to pay.
And this man was blackmailing her using just that.
“I won’t let your mother know, IF you let me show you something “he had said that as if he was going to pull a rabbit out of his pocket.
She had had no other choice and had agreed to it.
20 minutes later no magic and certainly no rabbit had come.
She prayed her mother was home later than usual
“Arin” he called.
She turned her face to him.
The next few seconds was a blur of the motion. She was deep in the ocean. He had pinned her hands from behind and now she was gasping for air under water.
She could hold her breath longer than most but panic was making her use up all the oxygen.
When she thought she was going to black out, she felt the cool rush of oxygen.
Holy hell she had just developed gills.

So, how was the ending ?

 

Read the First four lines and then you can choose. Write to done- scene stealers.

If you are a regular in the amazing website Write To Done , then you surely must know of the scene stealers they put up each month. They are for aspiring writers or anyone with a creative bend to their minds.
I am one such person and this scene stealer was part of developing a voice for your protagonist.
Last week only I wrote but it seems that I am unable to submit it online (sigh).
Guess I am too late .
But no worries, you are there right.
Oh! and read the first four lines after which you can decide if you want to stick with me or not.
And do tell me your responses. Do you want to know what happens after that !

So here it is.



I looked at the question: Who would you be if you could be anyone at all?
I decided to answer it.

I want to be my fathers murderer. I wrote and handed the questionnaire back to rabbit teethed doctor.

He read through it but stopped when he saw my last answer.

“You are supposed to write your ambition ” he sighed “I know what you have gone through. But it’s been six months. You’ve got to let go of the past and go forward”.

Anger flared in me.

“Did your father murder your mother and his two daughters because he thought she was sleeping with his brother” I asked.

“No, but I understand what you have gone through. If only you’ll let me help you” he said softly in a voice that marked him as a therapist.

“Shut up and don’t pretend like you understand me” I said and lifted up my tee shirt.

“Oh! “He gasped.

Three bullet marks adorned my body, forming a horizontal line below my chest.

A gift from my father.

For the first time Dr.james saw my bullet wounds and understood the depth of my hate.

And now he was silent.

I hated silence .

In silence ,I saw my drunken father, waving his gun.

The terrifying silence before the bullet ripped away from his gun and entered the bodies of my mother and my two sisters and then finally me.

Never in my sixteen years had I hated a man so much. He was now the sole reason for my continued existence. The moment he steps out from the safety of the prison I was gonna finish him.

“Your aunt is here to pick you up”  Dr James said getting up from his seat.

Kelly my father’s sister-in-law came in and hugged me.

I wriggled out of her arms and stamped out towards the car.

Kelly  followed me slowly.

 Suddenly a strong hand gripped my shoulder spinning me back. A tall man looked down on me and whispered .

“I can help you get your revenge” with that he walked away leaving me gaping.

There is a 350 words limit but I am itching to write more.But I don't know if the story is moving in the right direction.

Do let me know. Won't you ?

And this is the link to scene stealers of write to done .There are so many amazing stories in there.I loved it.

Write to done - scene stealers.

P.s : what should I name this story ?

'Kill dad' (that's creepy !)

Review of At Grave's End by Jeaniene Frost (Book 3 of Night Huntress series)

This series is getting addicting.Despite the minor hiccups I'm still clinging on to the the series. I hate leaving any book half finished.

The kickass duo of half vampire cat and master vampire bones is back. They are stronger than ever and almost indestructible... almost.

The book takes off where the last one left off.
And there is the addition of two secondary characters.
I absolutely adore thoose characters.

Click to Buy

Some things won't stay buried . . . at grave's end

It should be the best time of half-vampire Cat Crawfield's life. With her undead lover Bones at her side, she's successfully protected mortals from the rogue undead. But though Cat's worn disguise after disguise to keep her true identity a secret from the brazen bloodsuckers, her cover's finally been blown, placing her in terrible danger.
As if that wasn't enough, a woman from Bones's past is determined to bury him once and for all. Caught in the crosshairs of a vengeful vamp, yet determined to help Bones stop a lethal magic from being unleashed, Cat's about to learn the true meaning of bad blood. And the tricks she's learned as a special agent won't help her. She will need to fully embrace her vampire instincts in order to save herself—and Bones—from a fate worse than the grave.

Jeaniene frost is a master of twists. And just like the last book here also we are blessed with twists.
Although I don't agree with one. Who said it is imperative to kill a secondary character to show the ruthlessness of the world ?.
But aside from that I don't have much complaints. I like the character development in the secondary characters like Mencheres and Vlad despite the hindered development of the primary characters.

As the final verdict i would say that it ia fast and easy read and you'll like it if you are a fan of vampire romances.
RATING : 3.5/5

Review of One Foot In The Grave by Jeaniene Frost (Book 2 of Night Huntress series)

I read this novel yesterday. It was a fast and  engaging read. My attention didn't waver at all.And I loved the unforeseen twists at the end.And in case you are new to this series.

Here is my review of the first book in this series.

Halfway To Grave- A night huntress novel.

Night huntress is a New adult paranormal romance.

And the protagonists are Cat and Bones(cool nicknames), who are vampire hunters.Cat is a Half-vampire (One of a kind case in their world) and bones is a master vampire, and a very strong one at that. Together they hunt on other vampires,ghouls, ghosts and whatnot.

Click to Buy

Here is a short summary. No spoilers!

You can run from the grave, but you can't hide . . .

Half-vampire Cat Crawfield is now Special Agent Cat Crawfield, working for the government to rid the world of the rogue undead. She's still using everything Bones, her sexy and dangerous ex, taught her, but when Cat is targeted for assassination, the only man who can help her is the vampire she left behind.

Being around him awakens all her emotions, from the adrenaline kick of slaying vamps side by side to the reckless passion that consumed them. But a price on her head—wanted: dead or half-alive—means her survival depends on teaming up with Bones. And no matter how hard she tries to keep things professional between them, she'll find that desire lasts forever . . . and that Bones won't let her get away again.

In this book the adventure and mystery angle is given more importance than the romance angle (which is fine with me).
There are four main twists in the story( one of them was rather predictable).The one liners and humour scenes have improved comparing with the last one. The secondary characters are also better developed, especially cat's boss.

Although there was one big (or small ) flaw.Bones is supposed to be pretty old vampire. But he doesn't sound so to me.Yes, he may have adapted to the modern times.But still the sudden change is a little uncomfortable.
But it doesn't take away the joy of the reading

So, my verdict is I'm gonna keep reading this series. The book is not a masterpiece but it doesn't bore me.

Then what should I rate it ?

RATING : 3.5/5

I've not given a four because I wanted more world building. But I rcommend this series.

I would love hear your thoughts on the series and the author. And if you have any books for a good rad. Please recommend below.

Bye. Love you.